what a great start

I am not gonna start this off with a hey I haven't written in a while... but ... fuck I just did. Anyway, got my first television credit on Shit My Dad Says for CBS. Met Wil Sasso and William Shatner. Amazing story of how it all came about, and both show runners, Max and David, thought that I did really well. So well that I didn't get cut. And I got a couple of house laughs. How about that?

I really have been feeling pretty damn good these past couple of months. I tried to meditate every day for at least 30 min and I gatta be honest, it has really started to have some amazing effects. I wasn't able to keep up that that pace, but being able to come back to it has been really amazing. Also it just seems that I am really feeling confident when it comes to my auditions. I set up a system now where I workshop at least once a week, so I am gonna be auditioning at the bare minimum once a week. It one

Since my last post

... and I am gonna have to use some code for this to cover my ass in case people come after me. Imagine me having people come after me. Chemically, there was a big change in the past 6 months. And that ecstasty that I was talking about in the previous post, did happen, just not in the way I thought it would. I was right, this was the greatest year of my life so far. But it was also the scariest. When you have to really face yourself and look at what you really are, then you make a choice, and it happens to be the right one, amazing things happen. When you tell those who are truely close to you that you have issues, and you need thier help, amazing things happen. When you stop lying to yourself and take the necessary time to work on what really wasn't working, amazing things happen. This past year I feel I was given a second chance to really see what was working and not working in my life this past year.
Besides the bigger things this past year, a big one had to have been finding a faith that works. And trusting myself that it is important enough for me to take the time for it.
Career wise I again worked on some commercials. I broke into some theatrical offices. But mostly, I feel that I took a step forward in my confidence and my craft. Now to keep the ball rolling

It's always about a girl

that will make me sit down and write when I haven't written in such along time. And this time is really no different. The only thing that really seemed to have changed is the outcome. And I don't need to go into details about what happened, just know that it was a good thing. And it all seemed like something out of a movie. Now, most of the time, the movie that is life, doesn't quite have the same ring to it, or the ending isn't always the happiest. Not the case again in this situation. Nope this came on like a typical 80's movie where you knew exactly what was going to happen, and when it was going to happen. But last night I had that turning moment. Where in normal words, I stopped being a pussy and did what I was supposed to do. And that was after I really kind of messed it all up. I tried not to talk about it, and play it cool, but I had to explain why this girl was causing me to act the way I was. But I had to do it in a way not to over do it, no one wants that. You see it's the morning after and I can't even write what I am feeling. The stupid fucking moto is that eventually I think good things are going to happen to good people. At the time, you might find yourself punching the wet ground, completely in the most pain you've allowed yourself to feel in forever, because you don't allow yourself to feel, and at then a year later, you get it. Fuck if I know how it works, and why it has to be that tricky, but at this moment, after driving home on about 3 hours of the most amazing sleep I have had in a loooooong time, and after screaming at the top of my lungs stupid songs on the drive home like some 16 year old, after all of that, I am feeling something I haven't felt in a long time, and it feels like ecstasy.


and yes I had to spell check ecstasy.

Life is amazing

Broken Lizard

Well, about 3 years ago, I set down to set some long term goals and ways of reaching them. One of them was to act in a Broken Lizard Production. I loved thier movies, thought they were funny, and just the type of movies I would want to make. Well, less than two years late, then I meet one of the 5 main players from the group and get to do a little still shoot for him to help his presentation for Paramount. And you guessed it, he's just a guy. But how canny that I set something so long ago, thought, it would be impossible to ever get this goal, and two years later, one of my closest acting friends wife is best friends with his wife. and there you have it. On a small scale, but yet for yours truely, a victory. Now I wonder if it would have happened if I didn't set that goal. Maybe those goal setting things actually work.
Huh....
merica

When you suck

Yep it just so happens that at some point in time you're gonna suck. Be it an off day, or something out of the blue, or nothing at all, just sucking. And I'd like to be a guru and tell you all that there is an easy way out of it, or that you don't have to worry about it, but I would be lying. I will say though that you should try and learn from it, so that the next time it happens you won't suck so badly as the first time. Really when you suck at something, it means that you either you weren't prepared, you don't have enough skill, or you weren't focused enough. All of which you can work on and get better. Here is the story of what happened to me.
Being an actor out here, and in the late 20's early 30's white guy category, means there are a lot of us around trying to get roles. Luckily there are quite a few to be had, but a lot of us working to get that part. For me specifically, I have had to work really hard to break down some doors. And my job once I get into the room, is to win the cd. Not to book the job, but to win the casting director. Prove to them, that calling you in was a good thing, and to call you in for the next job that you are more right for. (I know this seems weird, but it is true) So, first day back after the new year, I see a role I am perfect for. A co-star for a show. Not too big, but perfect. "First TV credit here I come." I prep it, know it, know what I am gonna do with it. Easy stuff. Then something happens. The guy auditioning right in front of me, after his read, is flagged down by the cd and told they want him back for call-backs. Now, this shouldn't throw me. I have gone through this whole thing time and again all over the place. But I don't really look like him. Stop it, just go in and do your job, show them what you've got. And what Happens? Nothing. I stink. I show them nothing that I wanted to show them, and feel like I come across like a green actor, of which I am not. On the page, all over the place. And I get in my car and I am pissed off. Thoughts of "when are you gonna take this seriously?" fall into my head. Could I have known it better? Yep. Fuck. Me.
So what do I do after all the poor me stuff is over. I re-evaluate the situation. 1. It probably wasn't as bad as I think, but I know that I was vanilla and looked over. 2. If memorization of material is sucky, become better at it. 3. Always talk your auditions over with a coach. 4. Know that the marketing material is doing something because the associate knew of me, and I had never met her before. and 5. Let it go. Evaluate, and let it go. Because you don't suck, you just got reminded of what you need to do. And like my friend said last night, "Don't worry about it, the show sucks now anyway and you don't want to be associated with that show. "
That was the first time I smiled about it.
Take that 2010
'Merica

End of the year thoughts. . .

Well it is the end of my year, and as I think back on my year, the cliched saying would be that it was tough, but actually it was a great year. There were so many things that fell into the right place for me, that it would be hard for me to say it was tough. I moved further out of debt. Booked two commercial spots. Started getting into theatrical offices. And currently have a great webisode that is being shot, we are on episode 3 of 6. So, instead of looking at this year as sooo tough, I will take it for what it was worth, a great year. Plus I blogged about 8 times more than I had any other year. And was able to take class for free. And planned a trip to Baja. Hell yeah, bring it on 2010, it's gonna be better I can taste it.

Summer went

and has now gone by by except for in my room, which loves getting the nice warm afternoon sun of Studio City that keeps me sweatin when I take my 15 min cat nap. No one likes to sweat when sleeping, even after. . . well you know.
So in the past little bit some exciting things have started happening, and some extra struggles. I was able to make it to the premiere of "ALL ABOUT STEVE," which was just soo freaking exciting. Red Carpet, Mann's Chinese Theatre, and lots of peeps. Now even though no one wanted to talk to me, I still felt extra important cause they had blocked off the sidewalk. One of my best friends and my LA sister, Mellissa came with me, and as we grabbed our free soda and popcorn, she kindly handed my a mini-bottle of gin. AHHHHH Friends. We even got pictures, imagine that.

Lately have been doing everything possible to put myself on tape and break down the doors. Well, one finally opened, and then stayed open. Guest star audition for Better off Ted, for something I wasn't right for, and then a week later, another audition for them. YAY!! Just goes to show you, that persistence pays off. By the next time I write, I will have some television love to report. It's just something that you have to keep at. Some people will have more opportunity, and others it might just take a little more time.
Lastly wrote a sketch that I am trying to get shot. Might take a little bit, but I think it has some potential. Want to shoot. As we tend to forget hot to work with the camera from time to time if you don't do it enough.
Take it easy.
P.S. Thank god for spell-check